Our Journey
Kevan and I began our journey 8 years ago in Scotland. What a crazy 8 years thus far. We fell in love, had a daughter, and moved over seas to Canada to start our new life together as a family. We faced unexpected family sadness, challenges, difficulty settling, quirky living quarters and green grand community gardens!
Our daughter, Georgina makes our hearts grow every second of everyday. We have enjoyed watching her blossom into an amazing spirited little girl. We met a few great friends, grew award winning chillies (well in my eyes), gave birth to our beautiful son Archie, and then 4 months later we got thrown head first into the world of brain injuries. A parents worst nightmare.
Severe……hmmmm…………… spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy…………sob sob………………
cortical vision impairment, what? ha……your kidding right? This isn’t happening.
Then the word seizure gets tossed in so casually like you’ve just ordered ketchup on your burger and the term epilepsy, all of a sudden it’s so very real. So very real.
Mother hood in general is frightening and unexpected at the best of times. I think we hope we don’t mess them up too much and pray them grow up to be kind, decent human beings. But this was so very terrifying. We were heartbroken and sad and now we were walking into unknown territory.
Humor. You need it. Some days are very challenging, some are easier, and some days are very very long and unless you have parented a special needs child, you will not understand this world. I would never understand this life if I wasn’t living it.
The first few years weren’t nearly as hard as we imagined. After the initial shock and sadness we realized it didn’t’ change anything, it didn’t change Archie. Archie is Archie. We just adapted and got used to our new normal. I complain about Archie the same way a mother complains about her toddler yanking out a cereal box and dumping it. My complaints are just a bit different and usual involve throwing up or lack of sleep.
We are blessed to have soo many people in our lives that are supporting us, and that send us little reminders every day to keep our spirits up….we are forever grateful.
I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
After 2 years of living in Canada we decided that we needed to move back to Scotland for family support. It wasn’t an easy decision at all, in fact it was heartbreaking to leave as I was leaving behind people I loved but I was beginning to go crazy with no respite and the 1 hour night sleeps while Kevan worked. I really needed some help and Georgie was also missing out on family time and fun. So we moved back and while it was a challenge and nearly broke me, we made it to the other side.
We are trying our best to take a laid back approach to everything, tackle issues as they come, and not worry about what the future holds. Easier said than done. But we’ve learnt to take each minute and day at a time and enjoy our children. Some days I find it very difficult and I get very emotional. I feel I’m not doing enough for both the kids and worry that I’m going to let them down. But Kevan is pretty good at whipping me back into shape.
Sleep. Awww Sleep. The best gift we can give each other is a undisturbed lie in, and if we have been super good breakfast in bed! They may come few and far in-between but they are worth it. Our kitchen is now equipped with herbs, tinctures, remedies, a supplement corner and an array of juicers, but while we have been through every parents worse nightmare, you know what? It’s okay. We are so happy and feel so blessed to be the parents of these amazing children.
They. Are. Awesome. I love them so very much.
Kevan is my better half he’s a great dad, and partner.
Incredibly calm, soft spoken, just enough patience, loving and Fun. He is so much fun. The kids adore him.
Georgie is an absolute gem. She is one of a kind. She sings her way through the smallest tasks. She is smart, quick, spirited, funny and full of life. She lights up a room where ever she goes. No fear, full of confidence. She’s going places for sure.A happy wee girl with such imagination. I enjoy watching her learn, laugh and discover life. Archie is very lucky to have such an amazing sister, and I’m so proud to be her mum.
Right. So we passed the complete hair pulling freaking out stage, and by we I mean me….well kind of. I still go out and have a good scream in the yard at least twice a week, it’s refreshing. Which reminds me, I must go and say hi to the new neighbors and introduce myself before they think I’m the new nutter in the village. Now what? Oh that’s right, we need to grow a brain.
Where on earth do we begin?
Well we knew that we needed to stimulate Archie differently than we did Georgie, and that the next few years were vital as the brain grows dramatically from birth to 6 years of age. The jolly jumper, exersaucer, big tonka trucks weren’t going to cut it. We were in a new ball park
Think. Think. Think.
We came home from the hospital and our door became revolving with therapists, social workers, nutritionists, case workers etc. Oodles of big thick paperwork and disability forms screaming to be filled out. Intense much?
You really just kind of float through it. We listened. We still were coming to terms with the fact our baby was severely hurt. We took notes, we bought a binder and dividers to keep things organized, and then we went out and bought 5 more binders and a hole puncher and some pens not from the dollar store, cause everyone knows the dollar store ones are crap.
While the services offered to us were amazing, we still didn’t understand why. Why was our son hurt? No one could answer that. How does the brain work? Can we retrain other parts of his brain to take over the parts that are missing? How do we do that? We began researching, and continue to research when time is on our side. I stumbled across The Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential in Philadelphia. They offered a 5 day course for parents called ‘What to do about your Brain injured child’. We decided that one of us needed to go.
And so our journey begins.
The course gave me more than I could ever put into words. It was the best start. Since then we have explored other therapies and met an abundance of amazing people. From Naturopathic Doctors, Osteopaths, Massage therapists, Reflex Integration specialists, shiatsu therapists, and most importantly other inspiring families. We are currently on our second year now of ABR Advanced Biochemical Rehabilitation Therapy and Archie is doing so well!
Each day is a new adventure with Archie and two are never the same. We have learned that no matter what, we need to be consistent with his treatment, and Archie is showing us that when we are consistent he is becoming more consistent with hitting inch-stones. Whether it is a gaaaa/ gooo or a mini push up or coming to mid line …………. his brain is growing!!!!
So as of right now, we are determined, positive and focused. We are a solid family and have so much love and support. Our son is a fighter and we are seeing him responding and changing positively everyday. We have accepted that he is hurt….which was hard…..we have accepted that Archie is going to face some challenges, but we won’t let that stop us! We are excited to see what the future holds for our family!!